She wanted to fuck you. You threw up on her. Congrats.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
A guy wearing a shirt that says "eat shit and die motherfucker" just held open a door for me. He's got manners.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
I'm making a quesadilla and including it in the picture because that's the only way I think I can send her dick pics.
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Randomize
