Whod you bang
dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
he used the word "rubber" i just couldn't do it after that.
My RA tried to compliment my pong tables design after he confiscated it
I'll put it this way. My grandkids felt that fuck.
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Ever had someone sing happy birthday to you during sex?
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Random question, what's John-that-we-had-a-threesome-with's phone number? Don't necessarily need the full number, maybe just area code? Think I drunkenly ran into him last night and now I have texts from a John.
Randomize
