well i just puked at a family gathering so i can cross that off the bucket list
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Is texting an old booty call with "can you still get your ankles behind your ears?" an appropriate way to reemerge into the singles scene???
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
Randomize
