If i come over, it means nothing
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Just sent my cousin to buy me a new bra cause mine is zip tied to a bar in the middle of nowhere Iowa
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
He got an erection from helping me mobilize my lumbar spine. I love physical therapy school.
Let's get the cat blown out
I've given up on the male species, I'm just going to be a lonely whore for the rest of my life.
Randomize
