If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
Two shots of gin says this is gonna be a sloppy lab write up.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
Yea... The gym isn't gunna happen today... When I was drunk last night I tried to prove I could front flip off the wheel cover of a semi... I fucked up my shoulder pretty bad... It was more of a roll
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
The only alcohol at my aunts was mikes hard so I drank 9 of them and puked in the master bath
Our fake lesbian relationship is better than her real relationship. Bitch be jealous
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
It's official! Naked girl is back and making stir fry. Still not sure she realizes we can see her whole apartment from our balcony. Cheap beer and a show.
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