If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
four days late. damn you, makeup sex. you win again.
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
