end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Hes far too high and trying to explain daylight savings time to me. Help?
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
I'm bringing in a picture of a stranger on facebook to get my haircut. I have reached a new level of creepy.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
She was puking in a plastic bag while cleaning where she puked on the floor. She knows how to multitask.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
I'd rather blow Nickelback than be told he gave me gonorrhea. I'd even post it on Facebook for all of the world to like, share, and judge me.
Of course I understand. Thou shalt never turn down a free meal or drink. It's one of the commandments of being a girl.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Got home & pissed on my moms carpet like a bear in the woods. I woke up to a picture message with me passed out on the floor with my pants down & hands covering my face. I've had an awkward week
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
