You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
this is like black Friday for my dealer. I'm literally standing in line.
you think she would figure it out that ever dude that fucks her is just doing it bc they are in a contest to bang the fattest girl
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
He wore nothing but a Speedo and a tie to the party. It was great. Everyone was looking at him like "this kid's the best"
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
I'm going to preface tonight by saying that I'm sorry for tequila, shopping carts, and having to chase me.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
i told him the only way i'd fuck him was if he saved me during the zombie apocolypse and took me to a tastefully decorated yet impenetrable hideout.
Randomize
