it took everything i had not to yell out "your name means death in german!"
I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
Supposedly i was taking multiple birth control pills while screaming dot judge me. Never going back
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
Not many best friends can say they've all made out with a homeless guy
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
Dude... I had a dream that I was getting high for the first time. I got to experience my weedginity again. It was glorious.
Well if I can't snuggle you, I might as well snuggle a stranger's cat.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
I'm sure as hell not getting hoodwinked into going back to rehab again
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
Randomize
