dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
He just invited me over to bang on a sunday afternoon. If I can make it top the time I went to a strip club on fathers day then I'll consider it a success.
I think her version of saying goodnight was being flung over a guys shoulder as he said, "Bitch. You don't need no shoes."
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Just figured out my hair is long enough to tie my wrists together. . .get over here NOW!
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
like don't tell me my baby smooth vag offended you
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
