i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
He was telling me about how he's leaving on his Mission next week... While we were having sex in the back of his car.
You gotta do what you gotta do. Like how I gotta drive in the rain to go get chicken nuggets. I just gotta.
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Randomize
