just got drunk at a party with Christmas themed solo cups.. holidays are officially here.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
vagina is talking i cant
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Lesson of the night: never take shots out of a bottle you found under a couch in a frat house. I have no idea where I am
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
How long until you're healed?
Physically? A week or so. Emotionally? The scars of dislocating my knee at a frat and flashing my panties to the whole crowd wi never heal.
can you please not set my house on fire for once???
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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