you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
just found out I was hugging strangers at the bar last night. there's photographic evidence. I know none of them
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
Did my dad just see you doing a walk of shame?
Yup I waved.
idk how many shots you took between 2:39 and 3:05, but your message went from "Please text me tomorrow." to "Why you sto textom?"
I ate cake in bed. Felt great
Randomize
