Can Purell be used as lube?
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
You texted me 'I am the leopard prince', with a series of pictures of you posing in what seemed like cat poses. you were not "a little bit" drunk dude..
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
You need Xanax blowdarts
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
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