Get condoms and clear your schedule for the night. I'm bringing chinese food!
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Our sibling relationship has really blossomed into a wonderful mutual acceptance of sluttyness
Update. A gay dude just told me I'm the most beautiful thing with a vagina he as ever seen. How should I feel about this?
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
So vagazzling was a success
My walk of shame is starting to become positively reinforcing; I stop by Starbucks and when I leave I look someone just heading to work.
Randomize
