the family i'm sitting with looks like the Addams family. Except for the daughter...she looks like Shrek
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
I'm currently bartering with this guy so I can fuck his bi girlfriend. We're at 5 pizzas and he gets to watch us make-out.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
How sad is it that I'm looking in the farm & garden section of craigslist to find a weed dealer. I mean, that's where they'd be right? Just gotta break the code.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
I just want to sing to him and rub baby oil on his head
Great litmus test for what a useless adult you are: amount of shame you feel while eating a coffee cup of Fruity Pebbles
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
There's even glitter on my cock...
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