didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'm constantly one strobe light away from an E flashback
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
im not gonna bother asking u how it was... we could hear u through the walls
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I'm all about sex. But even I know there will be a time to retire my junk. And that will be my 40th birthday, or whenever I'm hideous
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
Randomize
