even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
Also can you rate on a scale of zero to jesus restraining order christ how creepy it is that he found a porn star that looks like me and has watched all the porn that she's been in
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Everyone says I win the strip club
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
75% of the time I swipe right on Bumble for girls over 40 is because I think their 18 year old daughter is hot.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
Randomize
