I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
While we were having sex he told me "this is what you get for not parking my car right" I have never drove his car. He was that kind of weird.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
PS: I just woke up from my shower
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
you said you wanted to call me grandma and give me hugs
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Randomize
