remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
You're the only true friend I have, if true friendship is based off who would be there for me at 4am during a boxed wine crisis.
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
It's gotten to the point that I'm pretty sure I'm going to need to be legally drunk before I enter the voting booth this year.
Randomize
