you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Who spends 33 dollars at Taco Bell and lives???
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
Saw the college gyno today. It has now been medically confirmed that I have a perfect vagina.
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Also I told several people at the bar last night that my dad the alligator wrestler died wrestling an alligator. So if anyone asks that's real.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize
