My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I mean obviously I like your dick... Jury is still out on you but your dick is good
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
In her defense, she didn't know I had a twin brother. Plus, we're even: I banged her sister.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
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