She's JV to your varsity
there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
It's not prostitution until you're out of college. Right now it's just strategic boning.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
