If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
They thought "watering it down" meant adding more vodka
the cops who came hadnt heard yet. when we told them they sang the star spangled banner with us
Strip club for my birthday. And none of this discrimination shit. We're going to a guys one and girls one. Go get your singles.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Is it possible to be drunk burnt? Like sun burnt but from drinking? Cus I think I that's what it feels like
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Randomize
