forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
so there is either a lot of blood or a lot of wine in the shower....
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Is it weird that the cop that arrested me called me twice to tell me that I left my ring at the police station
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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