the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
one should ask oneself what kind of lifestyle one is leading when one finds a handprint of semen on their pillow the next day.
For the record, a bath beer is far superior to a shower beer...
I'm telling everyone at work the mark on my neck is a hickey but really I was taking a shit while straightening my hair and burned myself
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
He broke into my apartment to check his Facebook again, the beer is all gone, and there's a new high score on pac man.
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
I rang in the new year by giving a lap dance to a Lutheran minister in a roomful of people including his wife. Jesus would be proud.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
