I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
Santa was walking around downtown handing out stuff at the bars. He gave me a free eyebrow wax. I think he's trying to tell me something
He ate me out. IN THE MORNING. I love less attractive men.
You climbed into the Suite next to us at the game so you could steal the half eaten hot dog someone had left on the table. That high.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
Randomize
