I just rolled a spliff on a dora the explorer tv tray. Preschool education meet afterschool special.
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Good. We don't answer calls at dick thirty.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
Ok there's 63 pics of you jerking it on my camera from New Years. The time stamps say it took you 40 min to get there too. See a doc, your only 22.
So I got lost trying to find you guys and ended up proposing to a bride in a bachelorette party with a condom.
Why wake up next to a guy when you can wake up next to a bag of chips and not have to worry about what kind of std you might've caught
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
A+ Viking dick
I just bought a handle of tequila and a breakfast burrito. I might be out of money for the weekend, but at least I have the necessities covered.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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