Dont judge me. Him and his friends got me drunk for free, the least i could do was suck his dick
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
If a vagina could give out awards, you should be preparing an acceptance speech.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He is really drunk but I just found $20 so it's like I am getting paid to babysit
Didn't shower and drew a couple dicks on my face before I went to work. Boss sent me home. Sacrificed my dignity for a 3 day weekend with you guys.
I was wondering why are people staring at me til I realized I was bra-less with a lei around my neck
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
Write this down so you can tell me in the morning. "That bartender needs to be in my mouth."
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Randomize