bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
Covered in gravy. Never pour gravy while drinking.
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
You know Im horny if Im walking around in my lingerie and sex robe. It's my field of dreams mentality. If I wear it, he will come.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
Fuck it. I'm going for it. You're only young once, right?
You've been saying that for 5 years now. Let me know when the novelty wears off.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Randomize
