I don't think brook has ever known best
Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
I think thanksgiving was created so we could all be thankful that we're still alive after the night before.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
Just read my long term horoscope. I'm not gonna get laid for another 2 years.
I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
Randomize