just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I just bought a CD. I feel like a traitor to my generation.
shit I'm tired of wearing other peoples clothes to bed
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
Beer Popsicles are better in theory
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
Just had flashback to me showering u with stir fry as u rythed on the floor
He was trying to hotbox the banana suit. Of course we traded him for vodka.
Ran into my neighbor that's always crying. I wonder if she's like; "I ran into my neighbor who's always playing with her vibrator?"
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
just woke up on my patio with a mouse eating cheetos off mys chest. youre all assholes.
He said he "doesnt care at all, really" if I shave my legs or not. Challenge accepted.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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