in a basement doing blow off a prince dvd next to a chick in a saddam mask
Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
so i don't know how many beers it takes to make a recliner look like a toilet, but that's how many i had.
A kind stripper put a blanket over me last night
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
I'm not breaking up with him because his husky is having puppies.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
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