She announced her abortion via fbk
and i looked up. we had an audience...
it's all fun and games until somebody pulls the tampon string..
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
I'm gonna need a helmet and adult supervision by 9...
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
He sent a video of him jacking off....class will be awkward tomorrow
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
Are you in a position where you can bring me some nachos?
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
Guuuuurrrrrl! He ate the 🌮like it contained the Covid-19 vaccine!
Randomize