I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
As much as I'm all for laying on his living room couch, watching spongebob and having spoon sex, it's becoming a routine.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm literally spending $165 to fly to Arizona to have a sex road trip coming back
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
