It was like if Side-show Bob had a vagina for a mouth
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
The only thing keeping me calm right now is pretending to chop off everyone's heads when using the paper cutter
No cash. I had to buy four bowls of soup to meet the credit card limit. I'm not even upset. SO MUCH SOUP.
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
No more twerking this week. I think I dislocated a boob.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize