so that wasnt chicken after all
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Well he's in a two year college so technically hes a senior. At least can we just pretend I'm not robbing the cradle.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Wearing panties to a party gives you a whole new perspective on life.
Randomize
