Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I'm at McDonalds and when I walked up to the register the guy said "I'm so sorry." Before I said a word. That's how bad my hangover is.
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I don't think ill be here long the chick I came to see is blowing rails with a drag queen
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
Randomize
