can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I might be drunk enough to make out with you. You don't want to miss this unique opportunity.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The only way I made it through work was reminding myself how many margaritas per hour I was making
The only coherent words in the 6 texts i recieved were don't, cute, fucking, beer, and lions
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
did you just correct my grammar and then send me a photo of your dick?
Better not shit yourself at the gym.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
Do the security cameras outside your house capture sound? If so your whole family is going to hear me describe my threesome
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
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