maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
CONQUERED: Sean from next door. Just wanted to let you know ;)
How many people did you send this to?
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
Robbie told me you spent 10 mins discussing the curl in his hair and that you said "with that curl in your hair, you'll go far"
He looked down at his phone and screamed "I'M NOT A DAD!" and then bought the entire bar a round
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
Showed up 2 hours late and still drunk nobody gave me a high five. This intership is bullshit.
Seriously? He's going to use MY birthday sex as the opportunity to ask if he can pee on me?!? I let him, but wow talk about selfish.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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