she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
jacking off on stolen wireless... gotta enjoy the small things in life
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
In Denver there are more bars per capita than any other city also the healthiest city. That means lots of drunk girls and no fatties.
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
My autobiography is now tentatively titled "I'm Fucking the DJ, and Other Ways to Party for Cheap"
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
How many of my tattoos need to be visible for an outfit to be considered "see-through"?
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
