xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Im in the beachers at wrigley listening to four lesbians debate the pros and cons of 2girls1cup. Success.
No... No really he actually thought the condom was meant for his hand...
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
At this point I think you're just judging my taste in men
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
Hey I'm trying to get back with my ex I'mm done doing whatever we were doing I hope things workout for you
Weird flex but ok.
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