I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
I had to sleep with my math professor to pass algebra. Apparently my blowjobs are only C+ quality
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
I'm naked in a forest ranger station right now
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Used my power pack to charge my vibrator so I didn't have to unplug my switch or my galaxy lamp. TECHNOLOGY!
Randomize
