He is such a slut. More and more my type.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
Just spit on a sock to clean a spot on my glass table. Oddest combination of so lazy and motivated ever.
Who has a video camera? i want to look back on this one day and say OH thats why i spent 2 years in jail
Said he made a playlist for taking a shit. only two songs on it are the Star Wars theme and "America, fuck yeah" set to repeat.
does it count as a threesome if she tried to blow the dude who was passed out next to us?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Buy Actually if the police need to find my body I'm on an air mattress in an apartment near a McDonald's that's all I see out dat Window
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I want to get up and tell you that smells delicious but I'm struggling with the idea of pants
Why so philosophical about cake and sex this morning?
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
Why the fuck am I at this dorm meeting? I don't pay $50,000 a year to stay sober.
I’ll call you later. There’s a jilted trophy wife looking for a revenge fuck at my door
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