I like how my family gatherings are basically an ugly sweater party just with better beer and wine...
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
And for the fourth year in a row Christmas has ended in tears, yelling and me drinking. This is officially our longest running Christmas tradition.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
My grandpa is driving me to get condoms and wine. This is adulthood.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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