remind me tomorrow that nothing happen between me and the guy who's shirt i'm wearing
I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
his mom called while we were having sex and asked if we could finish in his brothers room because her ceiling fan was about to fall on her bed
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
He thought I was flirting with him but really I just needed someone to hold me up.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
ATTENTION PENIS' OF BURLINGTON: I AM COMING FOR YOU
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I will gladly accept you into my home with open legs.
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
My tinder date wouldn't stop talking about the Star Wars movie trailer long enough to fuck me. HOW IS THIS MY LIFE?!?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
