I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
I traded the garbage men the rest of my handle for a ride home. Best. Walk. Of. Shame. Ever.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
James this is colleen. This is my new number. You just texted my grandma about getting cockblocked. Congratulations.
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
You've changed since you got that strap on
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
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