I bet they all look and smell like Amy Winehouse
After you pregamed and were plastered you saw the cop was parked illegally so you gave him a citizens arrest
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
He doesn't need a wingman, he needs a miracle
You then began crawling around in the grass with a magnifying class saying you were searching for the magic school bus.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
The pregnant Hooters waitress told me to "make good choices".
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Only I could go on a date with one guy, have a beer with a different guy and go home with the guy im trying to avoid. I have a talent or a problem.
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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