shaved balls and baby powder=awesome
My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
News update: stealing a playground is harder than it looks.
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
No you don't understand. This tree is really alive. Like in Pocahontas.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
You had to dry your pants with the hand dryer in the bathroom because you "forgot to take it out."
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Randomize
