Ninja stars and alcohol are a bad combo
also, you're talking to the girl for whom "deformed baby arm" wasn't quite a dealbreaker.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
Does taking an old homeless guy to the strip club, buying him lap dances, and calling him pops all night count as a good deed???
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
my dad just liked my status about my bowl being stolen even he feels my pain
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize