Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
Just so you know the unusual amount of skittles on your floor is entirely your own fault. You bought me 20 bags of them while I was high.
I hate you so much right now. You got us kicked out of my favorite bar because your drunk ass was hogging the Bluetooth jukebox and would play NOTHING but that goddamn skeleton song. IT'S NOT EVEN OCTOBER YET.
Spopky scrzy skeletonssz
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I dunno. The drunker I get, the easier econ gets. I may be onto something here.
Randomize
