have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
turns out the website for Dick's Sporting goods is not "dicks.com". It was a win either way.
I've never been 12-exclamation-point-excited for sex. That must have been good.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
reason #14 for loving my boobs...just got out of a 40mph over the limit speeding ticket thru a work zone. i dont think the cop knew i even had a face
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
dude, i woke up with a mini keg on my night stand. again. like wtf
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Medically YOU CAN'T BE AN ALCOHOLIC TILL 25!!!!! WE GET 3 BONUS YEARS!!!!
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
