ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
That's the kind of break up sex that keeps couples together. Damn.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
I woke up and sent him a text that said 'I'm sorry forever'
Sitting on the toilet ... Eatin pizza with one hand, petting my cat with the other. I love a sad drunken life
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
Why is it pressure? I want to see your cute face and possibly sit on it. You make it like its a bad thing.
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
