My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
You ever get that 6th sense feeling in your dick like you know its gonna get sucked later?
I really need to stop drunk texting. My one night stand just agreed to go roller skating.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
Zip lining have a big frozedn drink with 151 rum chippendale pic life is GREAT
My car windows are covered in lube. Happy 4th of July!
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
Is offering to blow your HR rep considered an ethics violation?
I'm not wearing pants, but I'm wearing a tiara.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
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