I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
The answer to your question is yes. I am wearing a star of david to the bar in order attract a jewish man.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
More likely there's a very shell-shocked cat wandering around somewhere, covered in potato peelings
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
Mandatory 420 Adventure Time.
This is why we're friends.
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
Adderal can only make me focus so much. Your ass is stronger than my medicine. Congratulations.
Two days ago a random guy asked me to sign his forehead 'cause he wanted to have the name of the prettiest girl in the bar on him and never wash it. I just saw him and my signature still there...
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
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