So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
I just tried to order ice cream on my bagel. I think I should just call it
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Dude I just realized i did a camper walk of shame in front of amish people. I should have asked for cheese and a home made pie to cover it up. Im just lost shopping in amish country nothing to see here
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
Randomize
