Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
I'm sorry for not being sorry about whatever shit I did to you when you were annoying and I was drunk. That is all.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
Girls at BYU need to learn how to handle a penis. I swear my date last night was trying to pull it off my body to use later.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
so does the amount of bruises on my arms and legs mean we had fun last night?
Randomize
